better...

Thank God, I'm feeling better today than I did last night. Unfortunately, my insomnia seems to have only been cured for one night and I tossed and turned like normal last night. I guess it's nice to know some things never change (well, too much). At this very moment, the kids and I are gathered around the TV, watching SpongeBob SquarePants and waiting for our Domino's to be delivered. Sadly, I don't think I'll be able to eat much because my stomach has been doing flip-flops all day.

I'm still reeling from the Hogs losing to Alabama. I had really hoped they'd pull it out but I guess not today. I'm beginning to think maybe I shouldn't watch them...this was the first game of the year I watched! I'm superstitious when it comes to Razorback football and full moon Saturday nights at the hospital. I'm just glad I didn't go watch it at the bar...there's no way I could have been able to contain my emotions. I never would have lived it down had I thrown a hissy fit in front of everyone. Besides, I like beer and I'm not supposed to be drinking it during chemo and sitting at the bar watching the game would probably make me want to drink a beer, especially as the Hogs were letting their lead slip away.

NumberOneSon got the yard mowed today and I'm so proud because I gave him the option of finishing tomorrow and he decided to go ahead and finish it so he wouldn't have to do it tomorrow. Very mature. He's also going to finish his paper tonight...on Saturday night!

I've been kind of mopey the past 24 hours and I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because I thought I'd be feeling better by now. I guess I was feeling better and then I kind of started feeling worse. Sometimes I just wonder when all this will be over. I mean, I know once I finish chemo and then have my reconstruction surgery it will be over. Probably 6 months from now I will be at least close to back to normal. But for now, it just seems never ending. I get sick of not having the energy to even make a meal or clean my bathroom. Needless to say I didn't start yoga today...hopefully tomorrow. How do you explain to people that the fatigue, the recovery, waxes and wanes, some days it's better and some days it's worse. I can't really plan anything. To top it off my throat hurts and I can't tell whether it's sinus drip or chemo side effects or what. I hate just sitting around but I don't feel like doing anything else. Ugh.

I'm trying to take it one day at a time but the past couple have just been neverending.