Back to reality tomorrow...for a little while anyway

Well, I guess I ought to blog since I actually have something to talk about this week. The trip to Kondee's Mom's house seemed to take forever, but once I stopped at Wally World and dropped about $100 on travel pillows, small blankets, battery operated fans and crayons, everyone settled down and I was actually able to drive. It only took me an hour longer than it should have. Now after being in the car for six hours, you'd think I'd just drop off to sleep. Oh no, we were up till after 3 am talking! And we needed to get up by 6 to leave for St. Louis! I didn't have to worry about an alarm though...between DH's frantic phone call at 4:45 because he couldn't find his house key to lock up the house and KM's kookaburra crowing at 5:15, we were up!

The drive to St. Louis and back was pretty uneventful. By the time I had five doctors do a breast exam (breast surgeon, her fellow, plastic surgeon, his resident and the oncologist) I felt like the main event at a peep show! DH and KM were with me for all the visits and the last time I changed with them in the room, I didn't even bother to turn my back! I briefly considered going topless for the rest of the day, but I put my shirt back on as a public service.

Everyone I encountered at Siteman Cancer Center was extremely nice and professional. Even though I'm an RN, all the doctors actually explained everything to me, which was refreshing for a change. I dunno, maybe it helps that I've never worked with any of these doctors. Maybe they didn't even notice that I was an RN on my chart. In any case, they dumbed it down considerably. The breast surgeon actually specializes in breast cancer in women under the age of 40. I think it's kinda sad that there's enough of us that it's a specialty. She was great though and only three years older than me! She explained all my tests and pathology and by the time I left there I had a good idea exactly what was the problem and what would fix it.

The funniest part of the day was the plastic surgeon visit. He worked me in even though I didn't have an appointment and took the time to show me pictures so I could think about what kind of reconstruction I want to have, even though it will be a separate surgery down the road. His resident came and did my history and physical. Then the actual surgeon came in and the resident just observed. When Dr. B got to the part about what the scars might look like and that they'll be covered by most clothing, I asked him if my days as a stripper were over. The surgeon, DH, and KM laughed because they knew I was joking, but the resident, bless his heart, he blushed and was speechless. I sure wish I'd had a camera to get a shot of his reaction...it was priceless!

Did you know they take "before" pictures at the plastic surgeon? Let me tell you, it's a bizarre experience to pose topless in capris and sandals against a blue wall with the plastic surgeon taking front/both profile/in-between pics with your hubby, your friend, a resident and a nurse looking on. I was really wishing I'd worn a high top girdle that pushed all my belly fat up into my cleavage, or at least done some sit-ups or something!

I guess the worst part of the day was when I went to see the oncologist and it's not really anyone's fault, everyone was great, but I just started to feel like a cancer patient. Ugh. Up till this point I've just felt like myself with a treatable problem, not a patient. Certainly not a CANCER patient. The MA who took my vitals at the oncologist's office was very nice and appropriate, but when I saw the sheet she was writing all my vitals on and it had so many columns to write them, I just wanted to cry because I realized those pages were going to have a lot written on them in the next few months. She showed us to the room and I asked her to show me to the bathroom because my three-kid bladder was full from all of Applebee's tea and because I needed to pull myself together. I know DH certainly doesn't need to see me wuss out because it'll only make it worse on him. So I peed and pulled it together. I'm getting better at it, one of these days I hope to become a pro.

Dr. M the oncologist wore white sandals with 2 inch heels with hose!! OMG...fashion disaster!! Yes I know it's before Labor Day but geez, open toe shoes with pantyhose? I mean, there was a copy of People Style Watch in her waiting room...she should consider reading it sometime!! I think she's too busy doing research and writing papers. Her CV probably reads like a James Michener novel. I know when I read about her on Siteman's website, I scrolled quickly through all the articles she's co-written and I probably would have understood more if it was written in Greek.

So here's the plan: surgery August 28, go up the night before, probably only one night but possibly two in the hospital, oncologist a week later to discuss pathology and determine what treatment I'll need afterward. I feel extremely confident that I'm in the best of hands and I'm going to be just fine.

The past few days since I had my appointment I have just chilled out at my girl KM's house. She's cooked, we've drank beer, swam, fed animals, hung out and talked. The kids have played and had a great time. They love all the strange animals. It's been kind of nice not having the hubbies here because all the girl yapping drives them nuts I'm sure, but I have missed them. They are good friends too and I know they would have enjoyed hanging out like we have. Oh well, next time I guess.

Headed back to my house briefly tomorrow, then off to hillbilly land to visit my relations. Mom doesn't have high speed internet so it may be a week before I blog again.