Off topic...rant!!

If you read this and you think I'm talking about you, you're probably right.

Rant #1: Married people who mess around. Now, I don't think the two people I'm thinking about right now are actually messing around. I think they're probably just flirting, having some fun. Maybe they're bored, looking for a little thrill in their lives. And maybe if the conversation that was exchanged between them was verbal and not in text message, it probably wouldn't sound so bad. But the fact of the matter is...if you are married, or in a "committed" relationship, there are certain lines you probably shouldn't cross. For me and DH, determining exactly where those lines were was a long time coming. We have now known each other for 18 years and been married for over 16 years. There have been things I have done that he did not appreciate. There have been things he has done that I did not appreciate. We have both experienced serious pangs of jealousy over different things. He's not a fan of me dancing with other men...so I don't do that anymore. I'm not a fan of women who are not friends of both of us hugging him. Now we can't control what others do (he can't stop another woman from hugging him but he can release quickly and introduce the lovely lady to his lovely WIFE) but we certainly can control our own actions.

My line in the sand, and I think DH's too, is...don't do or say anything away from your spouse you wouldn't do or say in front of your spouse. This is not the easiest thing to do. But secrets that are meant to not hurt the other person only seem so much worse once they are found out. In a relationship you have to be able to trust one another. I know that when DH is away he's faithful. He knows I'm faithful too. I know that if he looks at my phone or my Facebook or e-mail he wouldn't find anything that would make him uncomfortable. Same for me, except he doesn't have a Facebook. That's probably smart on his part!

It seems to me that maybe something is missing in the lives of the people I'm talking about. I hope they can 1. find whatever it is they are looking for and 2. work out their problems in their relationships.

Rant #2: Putting everything "out there" on Facebook/MySpace/Twitter, etc. Why do people air their dirty laundry on the internet? I realize when you're pissed off you want to share your anger and show everyone exactly how much of an ass the person you're mad at is. I've done it too. And I regretted it. I hurt someone I really love because I talked about her on the internet. I hope the relationship wasn't damaged permanently...I'd like to think she cut me some slack because of what I've been going through the last few months.

Sometimes putting dirty laundry out there does damage that cannot be repaired. It's like when you talk to your best friend about what an ass your boyfriend is being and you break up with him and then get back together a couple weeks later. Your best friend is still going to harbor those negative feelings about your boyfriend. Now that's not to say that you shouldn't talk to someone about your feelings, but you probably should use a little restraint, especially if you're not ending the relationship permanently. Or talk to someone who's not so emotionally attached to you. If you tell your mom or sister about the shitty thing someone did to you, they are NEVER going to forget it. However, you can pay a counselor $100/hr or sit at the bar and tip the bartender well and get all those feelings out there without them biting you in the ass later.

Finally, I just have to say that I'm not taking any sides on what is going on. I don't know the entire situation and it's none of my business. I'm only commenting on what's been put out in a public forum. I hope that everyone involved can work through their problems and I still LOVE ALL OF YOU!